She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
