Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
