The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
