I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
