Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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