I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
