was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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