I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
