I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
