Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
