So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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