Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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