operation harelip BJ is a go
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
third nipple confirmed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
