I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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