its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
