How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize