Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
