He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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