Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize