i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
