in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize