help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
