He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
