I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
