take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
