you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
