she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
