Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Dear god my vagina.
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