In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
