stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
