so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
