I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
