Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
