I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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