things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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