Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
