so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
