buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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