I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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