Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize