I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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