And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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