What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
