it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
