i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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