My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
