have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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