I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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