Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
