i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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