i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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