the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
