READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
