Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
