Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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