We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
