I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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