Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
