i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
