My friends, they love my intelligence
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
