I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
