something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize