He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
