so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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