This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I didn't notice because vodka
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
