yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My vagina is officially offended.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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