Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
bring money and cleavage
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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