You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
