I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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