How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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