he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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