His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
